Chapter 1 - Dreams
The wind was chilly as I made my ascent along the marked trail. Fallen leaves crunched underneath my hiking boots and my breath was heavy in my chest. The bare trees were dusted in green as the limbs stretched towards the sun to embrace the oncoming spring. The forest was silent, except for the sound of my boots carving a path through the forgotten trail and my breath as I struggled to keep moving. How long have I been walking? Hours? Days? My body felt stiff and sweat dampened my shirt.
Ahead I could see a clearing and the trail began to plateau. The grass was green and tall. Little white flowers sprinkled the floor and the view made me feel at peace. My feet moved me as if my feet were magnets attracted metal. My pace quickened and soon I was running as fast as I could.
I stopped just at the entrance of the clearing, inhaling deeply as I tried to steady the beat of my heart which were loud in my ears. The thrumming grew deeper and I realized that it wasn't just my heart that I was hearing but another sound, soft as if it were distant. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound, trying to determine the direction it was coming from. It felt as if it were coming from all directions and I opened my eyes to find my feet had brought me to the middle of the clearing.
Something was wrong. It was all wrong. The voice deep in my instincts told me to run but my feet would not obey. Then I saw it, a thing that came out of the wood on the other side of the clearing. Not a man or a woman. It wasn't human either. The torso was too small and the limbs too long. Its arms dragged on the floor and its face was without eyes, only a large smiling mouth that appeared to be cut ear to ear with a blunt knife. It was making its way towards me and panic swelled in my body. I needed to run or hide but my feet, my feet wouldn't budge.
It made its slow crawl towards me, slicing through the air and feet never touching the ground. It was five meters away now and tears were starting to slide down my eyes. Four meters and I desperately clawed at my legs to obey. Three meters and I was screaming. Two meters and I searched the ground for anything I could use to fight it. Nothing there was nothing next to me. When I looked up it was before me and my vision went dark.
I jolted upright to find myself soaking in sweat and the blankets kicked off. It was just a dream I kept telling myself. But it felt too real and the horror still pulsed in my veins. I looked over to see my husband unmoved, his breath coming out in shallow breaths. Bless his heart, my man could sleep through anything. I crawled out of bed and peeled off my shirt. I made my way through the dark and almost tripped on my Nellie, my golden retriever who can also sleep through anything except the sound of a ball making contact with the floor. I reached for a shirt in the dresser and pulled it on.
I made my way in the dark towards the bathroom and relieved myself, my knees still shaking, the fear real despite being only a dream. I've had bad dreams before but I've never had one that made me wake up so terrified. I crawled back into bed and snuggled close to my husband. As if sensing I were in need, even in his sleep, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in closer. The melody of his breathing lulled me back into sleep quickly.
I woke up the next morning to my husband getting ready for work. I had another hour before I also had to get ready and I was going to savor every extra minute of sleep I got. My body felt stiff and sore, my limbs felts as if they were overused. I listened to the soft sounds of my husband's morning routine. It wasn't until he left with a kiss and an whispered his declaration of love did I let myself fall back into a dreamless sleep.
The days came too quickly and the time for my husband's deployment came and my heart filled with grief and fear. His presence brought me peace, it chased away the shadows at night, and it turned the four wall and roof we lived under a home. His absence would hurt like submerging your body in ice, cold and shocking at first, then the pain would creep into you limbs and your chest tightens.
I stood at the pier, holding him tightly as if I could make him stay. Tears were rolling down my eyes and it took every inch of me to keep myself from shaking. We stayed like that, holding each other while people bustled around us, loading cargo onto the ship. Seconds turned to minutes and time seemed to slip too quickly. Then the bell rang, an awful sound that made us look up and bring us out of the tranquil moment where no one else in the world existed.
He looked at me, eyes red and fat tears to mirror mine sliding down his eyes. I knew what the bell meant, it meant that it was time for him to board.
"I'll see you soon," my voice trembled and I broke out into a sob. He kissed me once, twice, his tears spilling onto mine.
Then I let my muscles loosen and my arms unwrap from his waist.
"I love you," he said and he picked up his green sea bag to his shoulder.
"I love you and I'll be here to pick you up when you get home," and with that he turned and started making his way towards the ramp.
Don't look back. Don't look back.
I knew that if he turned back, the chin I kept high to show him that I would be okay would falter and I would crumple in sobs. I knew that if he turned back, he might not walk onto that ship and instead he would stay. But he had a duty to our country and so I wished into the wind that he did not look back.
He didn't.
Ahead I could see a clearing and the trail began to plateau. The grass was green and tall. Little white flowers sprinkled the floor and the view made me feel at peace. My feet moved me as if my feet were magnets attracted metal. My pace quickened and soon I was running as fast as I could.
I stopped just at the entrance of the clearing, inhaling deeply as I tried to steady the beat of my heart which were loud in my ears. The thrumming grew deeper and I realized that it wasn't just my heart that I was hearing but another sound, soft as if it were distant. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound, trying to determine the direction it was coming from. It felt as if it were coming from all directions and I opened my eyes to find my feet had brought me to the middle of the clearing.
Something was wrong. It was all wrong. The voice deep in my instincts told me to run but my feet would not obey. Then I saw it, a thing that came out of the wood on the other side of the clearing. Not a man or a woman. It wasn't human either. The torso was too small and the limbs too long. Its arms dragged on the floor and its face was without eyes, only a large smiling mouth that appeared to be cut ear to ear with a blunt knife. It was making its way towards me and panic swelled in my body. I needed to run or hide but my feet, my feet wouldn't budge.
It made its slow crawl towards me, slicing through the air and feet never touching the ground. It was five meters away now and tears were starting to slide down my eyes. Four meters and I desperately clawed at my legs to obey. Three meters and I was screaming. Two meters and I searched the ground for anything I could use to fight it. Nothing there was nothing next to me. When I looked up it was before me and my vision went dark.
I jolted upright to find myself soaking in sweat and the blankets kicked off. It was just a dream I kept telling myself. But it felt too real and the horror still pulsed in my veins. I looked over to see my husband unmoved, his breath coming out in shallow breaths. Bless his heart, my man could sleep through anything. I crawled out of bed and peeled off my shirt. I made my way through the dark and almost tripped on my Nellie, my golden retriever who can also sleep through anything except the sound of a ball making contact with the floor. I reached for a shirt in the dresser and pulled it on.
I made my way in the dark towards the bathroom and relieved myself, my knees still shaking, the fear real despite being only a dream. I've had bad dreams before but I've never had one that made me wake up so terrified. I crawled back into bed and snuggled close to my husband. As if sensing I were in need, even in his sleep, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in closer. The melody of his breathing lulled me back into sleep quickly.
I woke up the next morning to my husband getting ready for work. I had another hour before I also had to get ready and I was going to savor every extra minute of sleep I got. My body felt stiff and sore, my limbs felts as if they were overused. I listened to the soft sounds of my husband's morning routine. It wasn't until he left with a kiss and an whispered his declaration of love did I let myself fall back into a dreamless sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had the same dream every night and every night I woke up horrified. I tried to wake myself from the dream, pinching myself, telling myself it was all a dream, bracing myself for the appearance of that thing but it was all to no avail. The dream still happened and my husband thought it might be stress from work and his upcoming seven month deployment. It was rational to think that it could be as easily explained but something deep within which I couldn't explain made me know otherwise.The days came too quickly and the time for my husband's deployment came and my heart filled with grief and fear. His presence brought me peace, it chased away the shadows at night, and it turned the four wall and roof we lived under a home. His absence would hurt like submerging your body in ice, cold and shocking at first, then the pain would creep into you limbs and your chest tightens.
I stood at the pier, holding him tightly as if I could make him stay. Tears were rolling down my eyes and it took every inch of me to keep myself from shaking. We stayed like that, holding each other while people bustled around us, loading cargo onto the ship. Seconds turned to minutes and time seemed to slip too quickly. Then the bell rang, an awful sound that made us look up and bring us out of the tranquil moment where no one else in the world existed.
He looked at me, eyes red and fat tears to mirror mine sliding down his eyes. I knew what the bell meant, it meant that it was time for him to board.
"I'll see you soon," my voice trembled and I broke out into a sob. He kissed me once, twice, his tears spilling onto mine.
Then I let my muscles loosen and my arms unwrap from his waist.
"I love you," he said and he picked up his green sea bag to his shoulder.
"I love you and I'll be here to pick you up when you get home," and with that he turned and started making his way towards the ramp.
Don't look back. Don't look back.
I knew that if he turned back, the chin I kept high to show him that I would be okay would falter and I would crumple in sobs. I knew that if he turned back, he might not walk onto that ship and instead he would stay. But he had a duty to our country and so I wished into the wind that he did not look back.
He didn't.
Comments
Post a Comment